COVID-19 has threatened to close small businesses, upended all manners of routine, changed the way we hold church services, and has seemingly reversed the strengths of the two most caricatured personality types of all time, the extrovert and the introvert.
I would assume that you know at least a few extroverts and a few introverts. It is no surprise that these two types of people have reacted very differently to the lockdowns and quarantines resulting from the coronavirus. Generally, while the introverts rejoiced at the prospect of staying as far away from other people as possible, the extroverts have predictably lamented the idea of being cooped up in their houses, deprived of the human interaction upon which they thrive.
While it is amusing to this introvert to now be able to throw the shoe on the other foot, point at extroverts and say, “now it’s your turn to feel uncomfortable!,” I must say that while this unusual time has been energizing, long term lockdowns are not healthy, not even to introverts. The longer I go in isolation, the more I’m beginning to realize the necessity of physical interaction.
What is an introvert?
Let’s first define what I mean by an introvert. Introverts, in contrast to extroverts, expend energy when interacting with large groups of people. This is why after large group activities, an extrovert will feel energized and exhilarated, while an introvert will feel like they need to go home and be alone. Additionally, introverts tend to be more inward-focused than extroverts. They spend more time thinking about their own feelings, ideas, and interests, rather than seeking stimulation from other people the way extroverts do. As a result, they are often more quiet and pensive than their extroverted counterparts.
Introversion and extroversion lie on a spectrum, and most people lean one way or the other. I lean toward the introverted end of the spectrum, but I wouldn’t call myself an extreme introvert.
A Virtual Invasion
At first, the idea of a quarantine was very appealing to me. Going for days without having to have a face-to-face conversation with someone, and living in a world where staying as far away from people as physically possible is considered a societal good? Sign me up!
If you think I’m weird, you’re probably an extrovert.
But then there came with the quarantine something that I had not considered: everything that had once taken place in person was now trying to make its way into my house, invading my space, and disrupting all that was good and quiet in my life!
Meetings are now being held at home. I have video calls with coworkers and family members more often than before. My office has now been made a part of my residence. The mental barrier that I had held between work and home has been dashed. What I had assumed would be a mental paradise has now become a source of stress after several weeks.
What is the solution?
The tidy compartments in my life, house, and brain have all been mixed together into a blurry soup. With no promise of a soon reprieve to the safer-at-home orders issued by our local government, what is an introvert to do? I have found relief through self-imposed structure.
Now that I am spending a majority of my time at home, work tasks, home tasks, personal tasks, and everything else I have to get done must now pass through one location: my house. To combat distractions, stress, and frustration, I have relegated work, home, and personal to-do items to their own time slots throughout the day. This has recreated structure in one location where I had before relied upon separate locations for structure. And I still get the bonus of not having to talk to anybody in person!
That last sentence was typed a bit tongue-in-cheek, as I have slowly come to this realization after these few weeks: I actually do need some human interaction. God has made man a relational creature, and to neglect the health of one’s relationships is to call one of our God-given faculties unnecessary. God never does anything unnecessarily.
You see, the truth is that God did not let these quarantines happen for the learning experience of just the extroverts. We introverts have also learned how valuable and necessary human interaction actually is.
What has all this social distancing made me realize? It has shown me how sweet a casual conversation can be. It has taught me the value of face-to-face interaction. It has demonstrated to me how literally we ought to interpret Hebrews 10:25, and it has revealed a need to me that I didn’t know I had.
Don’t get me wrong, I still like solitude. But I like it now a little less.
Hi Aaron – very interesting post. As someone who also tends to be an introvert, at least in social settings, I understand where you are coming from. For some, the challenge is in the absence of in-person interactions. In these days of differing modes of technology, we can have personal interactions via Facetime, Zoom, and telephone. Those are different than being physically in the presence of another, and that may be good at times. As an introvert, I am energized by my solitude; however, I am also energized by my one-on-one and small group interactions, whether they be in person or technology-enabled. I guess I may be more of an omnivert in that regard.
I think back to when we had no communication technology. Before the invention of the telegraph, the only way people interacted were (1) in the home; (2) in “town”, assuming you lived in or near one; (3) at church, assuming there was one nearby; or (4) by writing letters (man, some of our forefathers could really write, too! Just look at some of the letters between John Adams and his wife, Abigail!!). God created us as a social species that required an abiding sense of community. Technology has made us more connected while, at the same time, made us less social as “community” has been largely replaced by “being connected.” Many now mistake their followers on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook as their “community” when that is not truly the case. It is why so many who are “connected” feel very alone.
Whether extrovert, introvert, or omnivert, all of us need some degree of in-person, physical interaction to be emotionally healthy. We all need community to thrive and be all the Lord intended us to be.
Very good thoughts! There certainly is something different between community and connection.
I have always enjoyed talking to people, but at the same time I feel drained after being around people, so I think I am more introverted even though I might not seem like one. I also enjoy scheduled speaking engagements that I can prepare for more than candid one-on-one conversations. Since my self discovery as an introvert I have further found myself to be Type 5 on the Enneagram, which for me means I hoard information because I am afraid of being used up. Like you, I valued the time where I wasn’t obligated to physically be around people during COVID, but it is important to remind ourselves that God created us for relationship. Structuring time for certain tasks is great advice, especially for people who have to work from home. I was grateful to have a separate office within walking distance that I could go to during COVID, and I got so much work done!
I consider myself to be an omnivert in that I can be either at different times, with a leaning toward being more extroverted. I could go days without interacting with anyone personally if necessary and never taking a call or text, and be content reading a book, but moreso I enjoy the company of others, especially when we are doing fun things, such as table games, or sports activities, or when teaching the bible or on mission trips where I’m engaged in sharing the gospel with groups of people….the key I believe in being both types, is flexibility in dealing with people who are different from me. I had to be more extroverted in my chosen career of 40+ years in Human Resources.